


I'll do anything to get my happy Merlin back

by magicalmerlin



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Drunk Merlin (Merlin), Gwaine Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Merlin's Neckerchief (Merlin), Multi, Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:09:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29297160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicalmerlin/pseuds/magicalmerlin
Summary: Merlin hasn't been himself since he lost Lancelot. He thought he was doing good at hiding how he felt, but he didn't. All the Knights could tell that Merlin wasn't his bubbly happy self like he used to be, one Knight in particular who could tell was Gwaine. He would do anything to get happy Merlin back...
Relationships: Gwaine/Merlin (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 63





	I'll do anything to get my happy Merlin back

* * *

It had been a couple of months now since Lancelot had been gone. Merlin still felt sad, like a part of his heart was missing and he had no idea to fix it. Every day he would walk into Arthurs chambers with an only a fake smile to show and just hoped that no one would ask him what the matter was because deep down Merlin knew that if anyone was to ask, he would just break down in tears and he just wouldn't cope.

* * *

Merlin hated that it was his own fault into why Lancelot wasn't here right now. Why he wasn't outside training with Gwaine like he would do every day. Merlin wonders what it would have been like if he, himself, had gone through the veil instead. How if he was just quicker then Lancelot. Merlin would stay up most nights thinking about all the possibles of it all.

* * *

Merlin thought his half fake smiles and small little jokes that he made was enough to keep people from wondering or questioning him why he was so down and off. But he was wrong, so wrong. All the knights could tell that there was something off with Merlin, and how he wasn't acting his usual bubbly happy self.

* * *

One person who could especially see the pain and sadness that Merin was trying to so desperately hide from everyone, was Gwaine. The look in Merlin's eyes when he would see something that reminded him of Lancelot and how he would hold back from crying right there and then. The way as soon as he was alone the smile that he had was soon gone and was now replaced with a sad worn-out look on his face. It hurt Gwaine to see his closest friend hurt and be filled with sadness, almost like the death of Lancelot had consumed him all in one.

* * *

It was just a normal day, Merlin got up out of bed, which yet again he hasn't slept. He got changed into his usual red tunic and wrapped his blue neckerchief around his neck. He grabbed his brown jacket as he left to go see what King Arthur would want him to do for today. Merlin didn't eat as he didn't want to be late and have Arthur stand there and shout at him for being so irresponsible.

* * *

He opened the big wooden door and saw Arthur still in bed. Merlin let out a small sigh as he did what he always did every morning. "Come on Arthur time to wake up" Merlin said trying his hardest to not sound sad. All Arthur did was just grunt and move the red silk bedding over himself more. Merlin would normally find this amusing and would joke around with Arthur but right now, he wasn't feeling like it and was already getting frustrated at him.

* * *

He took the bedding with one hand and pulled it quickly away from Arthurs body, earning a loud grunt. "Merlin, what was that for?" Arthur spoke with slight annoyance in his voice. "It's time to wake up and get dressed" Merlin said in a monotone voice. Arthur looked Merlin in the eyes, making Merlin feel on edge. "Merlin, what's the matter?" Arthur's voice had now become softer with worry. "Nothing Sire, now get up so I can help you get dressed you clotpole" Merlin said trying to sound less sad.

* * *

Once Merlin had helped Arthur in his clothes, Merlin picked up the leftover breakfast onto the tray to go clean. "Merlin, are you sure that everything is fine?" Arthur spoke with a soft tone again. Merlin couldn't take it anymore and flip. "Sire I am fine, okay? now can you stop asking me and go do your work while I go finish the chores that you have set me to do" Merlin said, his voice slightly rising as he did with the taste of annoyance slipping off his tongue with his hands clenched together.

* * *

Arthur didn't say anything other than just looking at Merlin in shock. He had never seen this side of Merlin before, the side that makes Arthur's heartbreak into tiny little pieces with sadness, the way he just wanted to go and hug him tightly forever. He hated seeing Merlin sad more than ever. He knew not to push Merlin anymore, he knew Merlin wasn't okay, but he didn't want to argue with him when Merlin was clearly not ready to tell him why.

* * *

Arthur went along with his day, he was still worried about Merlin. Merlin's hurt and upset yet filled with rage and anger in his eyes as he spoke to him this morning. It was always there at the back of his mind and no matter what he did, he still couldn't seem to get the thought out of his mind, almost like it was burned into him. The pain of his voice, the anger in his voice it all bubbled inside Arthur, he felt so guilty for pushing Merlin, the guilt had started to slowly eat Arthur in a way that he had never felt before.

* * *

Merlin had been avoiding almost everyone all day, he spent most of his time in his room with the door locked. He crawled on the bed with his knees up to his chest, almost like he was trying to shield himself from everything and anything.

* * *

He had done all the chores that Arthur had left him to do. He didn't care that he could hear Gaius asking him over and over again to open the door so they could "talk" about how Merlin felt, but he knew that Gaius would never truly understand how Merlin felt and he didn't want to think about the look on his face when he tells him, he hated talking about his feelings more then anything, he hated it more than he hated Arthur when he's being a prat and that was very hard to do.

* * *

His heart throbbed, his heart was filled with grief, guilt, sadness, desperation. All he wanted more than anything was Lancelot back. To hear his laugh, see his smile, feel his warmth when they hugged every time something happened, to see the pure happiness in his eyes when he was proud, even if he heard and saw it all just once, would have been enough to fill his empty, aching heart one last time. He couldn't hold back the tears that he was trying to so desperately to keep from slipping from his sad, pain-filled eyes anymore, he put his head into his knees to try and muffle out the sounds of his painful cries.

* * *

Gaius couldn't take it anymore. Hearing Merlin sob hurt his heart more than anything. He had no clue what to do, Merlin's door was locked so he couldn't get in. He knew one person that Merlin might hopeful tell them everything so he didn't have to keep it all to himself, and that person was Gwaine. He knew how close they are ever since Gwaine had come to Camelot and he just had to hope that Gwaine would know what to do.

* * *

"Gaius, what seems to the matter that you must call for me with such urgency, is everything alright?" Gwaine asked with slight worry mixed with confusion in his voice. "It's Merlin" those were the only two words Gwaine needed to hear before his heart broke and his eyes now changed into more panic then happy which they were before.

* * *

"Why? What has happened to him? Where is he?" Panic had now filled Gwaine and Gaius could see. "He's in his room but he has locked the door, he won't let anyone in, not even me" Gaius said, sadness washing over him as he said the last part. "Okay I will see what I can do, I'm sure he will open to me" Gwaine said with slight hope in his tone. "Thank you Gwaine, ill leave you two alone" Gaius said smiling weakly at him before leaving.

* * *

"Hey, Merls it's me, Gwaine. Do you think you can unlock the door for me so we can talk?" Gwaine said softly, he didn't want to scare the poor boy and upset him even more than he already was. "NO" Merlin cried out, pain in his voice as he screamed. It hurt Gwaine more than anything to hear him scream with such pain and hurt in his voice.

"It's okay Merlin, we can talk about anything you want, I'm here" Gwaine asked softly again. Merlin took a deep breath and unlocked the door using his magic, he had no strength to get up. Gwaine sat down carefully next to Merlin on his bed, Merlin's cheeks were stained with tears, making his pale soft skin, slightly red. His hair was all over the place, even more than it usually was. His red tunic was now covered with patches of tears all over it, his blue neckerchief was now thrown onto the floor, same with his brown boots and jacket.

* * *

Gwaine has seen Merlin sad before, but not like this. His eyes were filled with sadness and pain, the little smile he made at him was so weak and Gwaine could see right through it, he knew Merlin wasn't okay and that made his heart hurt the most.

* * *

Gwaine didn't say anything, he just sat there and looked at Merlin ever so softly. All of a sudden Merlin threw himself into Gwaine's arms and just cried. Merlin held onto Gwaine, almost like he was petrified in losing him. He couldn't hold his tears anymore, no matter how much he has already cried, there was still more tears to weep.

* * *

He felt so vulnerable and weak against Gwaine's arms. He clutched onto Gwaines white tunic and all Gwaine did was wrap his arms around his pulling him closer, he used his other hand to smooth Merlin down by rubbing his back. It was a few minutes, no one said anything, just Merlin holding onto Gwaine in his arms and Gwaine soothing Merlin down. It seemed to have worked because Merlin's breathing had gone back to normal and he was no longer crying.

* * *

Merlin slightly sat up and wiped his nose with his sleeve, he didn't really care about his appearance anymore, not when he had tear stains all over his tunic already.

* * *

"I'm sorry" Merlin said quietly as he saw the tear patches all over Gwaine's tunic. "Hey it's okay Merls, wanna tell me what has been troubling you these past months?" Gwaine asked softly and carefully, with a warm smile. Merlin took a deep breath before he spoke. Was he really about to tell Gwaine, his best, most closet friend to him everything? the thought span around his mind but decided it would be for the best if he did.

* * *

"Well... it's just... Lancelot" Merlin's heart ached even more, hearing the sound of his name echoing around the small quiet room, the way it just rolls off his tongue made his heart ping with pain and sadness and his eyes tear up again.

* * *

"its okay Merlin, take all the time you need" Gwaine says placing his hand onto Merlin's knee for support. Merlin took another deep breath before he continued. "It's just every day I miss him more and more, everything reminds me of him. I would do anything in the world to see his smile, hear his laugh, to be able to hug him again. I just wish I was quicker, that it was me who went through the vail instead of him. That Lancelot was back now, fighting and training with you and joking around with Arthur, I try so hard to smile whenever I'm around people because I don't want them to see me like this, to see me cry, to see me sad and hurt. I just want my best friend back Gwaine" Merlin's voice broke as he said the last part, trying his best not to cry for the third time. Gwaine wrapped his arms around Merlin again and just hugged him tightly.

* * *

He wanted to cry, to cry because Merlin was so hurt and in pain and he hated it so much, to cry because he had pushed all his feelings and sadness from when he lost Lancelot too and hadn't thought about it fully until now, but mostly wanted to cry because Merlin wanted to do what Lancelot did and that hurt his heart even more. If losing Lancelot was hard enough for Gwaine, having the thought that Merlin wanted to do it instead ached his heart even more.

* * *

They spent the past hour just talking about random things, anything that wasn't to do with Lancelot. It was nice, Merlin smiling fully for the first time in so long, Gwaine seeing his smile and laugh and being the reason into why made him smile and his heart warm.

* * *

"Merls I have an idea that might cheer you up more" Gwaine said smiling at him as Merlin stood up to grab a new tunic. Merlin gave him a confused look as he got changed into a blue tunic top. "I thought you could go to the rising sun with me and a few of the Knights? I know you don't normally drin-" Gwaine got cut off by Merlin shushing him. "I would love to Gwaine, just don't think Arthur would be impressed with the idea of his manservant being drunk" Merlin said smiling, they both chuckled lightly. Merlin was right, Arthur probably wouldn't like the idea in him being drunk but Merlin didn't care, he wanted to go and if that meant he might be drunk by the end of it then it'll be all worth it.

* * *

The only problem that Merlin thought was how he was going to be able to out with Gwaine and the Knights without Arthur finding out.

* * *

The first thought was to use his magic to make Arthur fall fast asleep but then again, that might be harder than sneaking out. It was now getting pretty late, Gwaine was with the Knights waiting for Merlin.

* * *

Merlin was currently stood in Arthurs chambers with his clothes for Arthur in his hand. "Come on Arthur, I am not standing here all night long waiting for you to get changed" Merlin spoke happier, more of his cheeky soft joking side with Arthur instead of his frustrated self like his was with him this morning. Arthur took the clothes from Merlin's hand and got changed, with the help of Merlin of course. "Will that be all Sire?" Merlin asked moving slowly to the door so he could go quickly. Arthur nodded and Merlin opened the door trying not to act as suspiciously as possible. Which by Arthurs confused look, proved Merlin differently.

* * *

None the less Arthur went to sleep and Merlin made his way to the rising sun. Now see, Merlin has never been drunk before, he has drunk but only to the point where he slightly tipsy. He didn't like the feeling of being out control and that's what scared him the most about being drunk, that and accidentally using his magic while people are around the place.

* * *

"Hey, Merls!" Gwaine spoke waving at Merlin with a smile on his face. Leon, Percival, Elyan was also with Gwaine and they were all smiling and waving at Merlin. Merlin did feel a little out of place, probably because he wasn't used to coming here but he wanted for Gwaine, seeing the bright smile on his face when Merlin said he would come made this all worth it.

* * *

As soon as Merlin got close to them Gwaine swung his arms around him and hugged him tightly, as he did back in Merlin's room. It made Merlin feel better, a lot better and had seemed to calm the nerves he had. They all sat down and Gwaine went and ordered some mead for everyone.

* * *

Everything was going pretty smoothly, Merlin was on his second mead while the rest was on their forth or maybe fitfh drink. Merlin was laughing and joking around that he hadn't even paid attention to the fact he was on his third drink of mead and by now Merlin was feeling drunker and drunker as the time went on.

* * *

None of the other Knights seemed to be drunk, but that could probably be because of the number of times they have gone out drinking. It was getting pretty late night so they decided it would be best to get Merlin home. Merlin was walking around making little butterfly from his magic.

* * *

"Where are all these butterflies coming from?" Gwaine asked as he looked up and all he saw flying around was these pretty blue sparkling butterflies. He was so confused until he turned around to see happy drunk Merlin giggling and smiling so brightly, the sorta smile that forms from cheek to cheek, that smile that makes anyone heart melt. He looked so happy, even if he was drunk and making butterflies with his magic. "Oh, that's why" Gwaine said softly as he looked at Merlin so fondly at him being so happy and giggly.

* * *

He was making butterflies all the way back to Merlin's chambers. Every time he made one he would just giggle and smile so widely at them and then back at all the Knights who was now looking at him fondly, just like Gwaine was. They all loved seeing him be so happy and carefree, it had been so long that they had ever seen Merlin like this, seeing Merlin being his true bubbly, playful, giggly self that made everyone's day even better. Arthur walked out of his chambers to see Gwaine, Leon, Percival, Elyan and Merlin all walking around giggling and smiling.

* * *

Merlin kept walking until he bumped into Arthur, giggling and smiling at him. "Oops sorry" Merlin slurred as he spoke. Arthur just looked down then back up to the Knights.

* * *

"Now confess, who let my manservant get drunk?" Arthur asked with slight protectiveness in his voice. All the knights were now glancing guiltily at the floor. They all knew that Arthur would have reacted like this, this protective of Merlin. They couldn't help but smile so softly at Merlin as he stood there giggling to himself while he made little butterflies, his eyes were so mesmerized at how the little butterflies looked.

* * *

"He looks so happy" Gwaine said giving Arthur a wistful stare. Arthur couldn't help but smile softly at Merlin, he did truly look so happy. "...alright, but keep an eye on him. Get Gaius to prepare the hangover potion for him" Arthur said softening more. Gwaine nodded.

* * *

"Arthur look look!" Merlin said tugging at the bottom of Arthurs tunic. "What is it, Merlin?" Arthur asked looking at him confused. Before Arthur could ask any more, Merlin was making little dragons from the fire. Merlin was smiling and giggling as he made them, the same when he made the blue butterflies from his hand. All Arthur could do was look at Merlin with affection and fondness at just how adorable Merlin was being while he's drunk.

* * *

"I told you getting Merlin drunk would be a good idea" Gwaine said smiling smugly at the Knights then back at Arthur who was still gazing at the pretty orange dragon that Merlin made with his magic.

* * *

**_*The next morning*_ **

Merlin woke up in his bed, feeling so dizzy and hungover. He was so confused when he looked up and saw Gaius holding a potion in one hand and then loads of butterflies around the room.

* * *

"Uhhh Gaius why are there so many butterflies in the castle?" Merlin asked holding his hand on his head to stop his head from throbbing. Merlin had no idea that the Knights and Arthur had seen Merlin use his magic. "And why Arthur and Gwaine smiling at me like that?" Merlin asked looking at both Gwaine and Arthur who was looking at him with such softness and fondness in their eyes.

* * *

"Well, Merlin, you may have gotten sorta drunk and made butterflies everywhere" Gaius said handing Merlin the hangover potion. Merlin looked at both Gwaine and Arthur then back at Gaius with confused mixed with shock.

"Oh.." was all he said before Gwaine and Arthur started to chuckle at him.

Gwaine really did do anything to get his happy Merlin back...

* * *


End file.
